B'Day down the bidet?

So Beyonce has finally released her second solo album this past Tuesday. I have to admit that I was kinda quick on the draw in joining along on the Beyonce bashing bandwagon. I mean, I was all excited when I heard that new stuff was coming, since Destiny's Child's Destiny Fulfilled was very underwhelming after "Loose My Breath." Beyonce was the star vehicle of that outfit anyway. Really. I know you thought about it.

So anyway, after "Deja Vu" leaked out, I was excited. Sure, she's ripping off the same formula that she used for the excellent "Crazy In Love," from the blaring horn section to the guest rap by Jay-Z. But there were a lot of "haters" out there, that touted this being a boring single, and too similar to what she's done before. I gave Beyonce the benefit of the doubt, because a lot of her songs, both solo and with Destiny's Child, had to grow on me before I start liking it. The video was stupid with no focus, but I could look past this due to the song being dancey.

But then other things started leaking. First it was the boring "Stepford Wives'" cover, to the insipid title (B'freaking Day???), and then the worst travesty that has ever entered my acoustic canals, "Ring the Alarm," the supposed second single, leaked. It was at this point that I turned from a Beyonce supporter to one of the "haters." The song is screeched instead of sung, there is an annoying siren that goes on during the duration of the chorus, and I just didn't feel like this was Beyonce. She doesn't do the uber-angry scorned woman very well. And then I saw the video via YouTube. Now I had an assault for my eyes to go along with my ears. The video can be succinctly described as "Whitney Houston on cocaine ("Crack is whack!") gets cast in a bad remake of the first Basic Instinct.

And then Beyonce decided to rip off more movies by performing "Ring the Alarm" at the MTV VMAs, rappelling down from the ceiling in a trench coat. Not only did she seemed to have watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith one too many times, but this also ripped off Brittney Spear's performance of "Me Against the Music" at the American Music Awards. And then Beyonce breaks it down in a sloppy rendition of Janet Jackson's "Rhythm Nation." Sure, a lot of artists copy what others have done before (Madonna is a prime example of this), but at least they make it fresh, instead of making it look like an obvious rehash.

So with some trepidation, I picked up B'Day. And I was actually mildly surprised. After listening to it four times through, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. "Get Me Bodied" is off the hook, very dancey, very ballsy, and would have made an excellent single instead of "Ring the Alarm." "Get Me Bodied" is easily the best track off the album. Actually, many of the songs seem like they'd be perfectly at home on the dance floor with the bass turned up. "Upgrade U" adds a hip-hop hook to the dance floor. And "Ring the Alarm" put into the dance floor context, also sounds better in comparison.

But for every plus, there is a minus. "Suga Mama," sounds like a weak rehash of Beyonce's "Work It Out." "Freakum Dress" and "Green Light," though hot, sounds too much like deconstructed versions of Amerie's "One Thing" (which sounded like a garbled version of Jennifer Lopez's "Get Right" in the first place). "Kitty Kat" doesn't sound like it should be a Beyonce song. She doesn't pull of sexy yet cute too well. The two slower songs at the end are snoozers (not to mention silly. "Irreplaceable" has Beyonce singing the refrain "To the left/To the left." What is she trying to tell us? Which way Jay-Z hangs?) .

And the last nail in the coffin is the sound mixing on this album. It is all over the place. Sometimes it sounds like the music is mixed too quiet. Then her voice sounds like it is too quiet. And then the greatest horror was the high end distortion that can be heard in the chorus/bridge of "Deja Vu," where Beyonce's voice gets a little shrill, like you were listening to cheap headsets with the volume turned way up. There is no excuse for that!

So I give B'Day from Beyonce a B-. I hope she learns from her mistakes and thus never make a "Ring the Alarm" again.

Moog Pop Absurdity!!!

I just got back from Jean-Jacques Perrey's first ever live performance in the United States at The Triple Door, assisted by the talented and lovely Dana Countryman (and I'm not just saying that because I work with him!).

I have been awaiting this pairing for FOREVER! Dana loves to name-drop Jean-Jacques every once in a while at work (and reliving the nightmares that he had coming back from France the last time around). I always knew Dana fiddled around with music (and the crazier, the better, judging by the eclectic mix of things on his website), and was working on a CD with Jean-Jacques (I viewed a few first drafts of the zany album cover), but me being the youngin' that I am, I didn't really have a clue to who Jean-Jacques was (I just knew that he put out a lot of stuff in the 60's and 70's), and that he was French. So to finally see him and to listen to the type of music he makes was a natural curiosity of mine.

Well let me say, the music is so quirky. The only way to really describe it is with the words "bubbly" and "cute". With one foot firmly planted in the electronic psychedelia of the 60's (think Austin Powers), with a splash of the whirly good-times music of a Disney Main Street Electrical Parade, and enough electronic bleeps and whistles to keep it interesting without being annoying, it is really hard not to smile or bop along when listening to what was coming out of those analog samplers and keyboards that was on stage. My sister and I don't usually listen to this kind of music (me, being a Pop/Dance fan with Madonna, Kylie, and Bjork under my belt, and my sister with alt-rock singer/songwriters like Pete Yorn and John Mayer on heavy rotation), we still couldn't help but be overwhelmed by how happy everything was.

And it only makes sense. Jean-Jacques may be 77 years old, but his spirit which clearly shined through the iridescent white lab coat he had on is clearly still stuck in his joyful youth. On stage, he seemed like the doughy, lovable grandpa that everyone wishes they had. And Dana was a great foil, as the doofy (in a good way) sidekick. The show stealer was though, the little stuffed elephant (I have to ask Dana for the name of the elephant again), that was brought onstage by Jean-Jacques' daughter during a touching moment. It put into perspective the "romantic" song that Jean-Jeacques played earlier (complete with theramin sampling!) that was dedicated to his daughter, Patricia.

All in all, it was a feel good night, and a fun gig. You can still catch their show down in San Francisco and Hollywood later in the week. And if you can't go, but are still curious to their sound, click on the album cover above, and trek through Dana's website and you'll find some samples from the album, along with a visual collection of some of the craziest album covers of the last half-century.

New Musicality

Well, again, a new Tuesday has passed us by. So let's celebrate Wednesday by looking at what I spent my hard earned money on!

First, I was excited to see that Apple iTunes has just released Dangerous Muse's new EP, "Give Me Danger." I raved about their last EP, "The Rejection," and I LOVED (with a capital L!) the "Blazing Lazer Reject Disco Mix," so I was waiting to see what they would release next. Unfortunately, inflatedly high expectations only lead to heartache (see what happened to those Star Wars prequels!). Though the lead song, "Give Me Danger" is a perfectly fine song, it sounds too much like a rehashed A-Ha song with more of a rock beat. It is not as inventive, fresh, and stylized as "The Rejection" (though the subject matter, finding your boyfriend with your female bestfriend, is a little interesting). I probably will warm up to this song eventually, but right now, color me a little underwhelmed. The other songs on the EP ("Break Up," and "In This Town") are also O.K., I actually enjoy "Break Up" better than the main song. It's a cool 80's inspired song where you can't make up your mind whether it's time to move on and break up or to to look for a reason to stay together. It has a better propulsive beat, and doesn't make me think of "Take On Me" every five seconds.

And in brick and mortar purchases, I picked up a trifecta of new hip-hop beats, Gnarls Barkley's St. Elsewhere, Kelis' Kelis Was Here, and Outkast's Idlewild.

I've already talked about the greatness that is the Gnarls Barkley song "Crazy." And true, their album, St. Elsewhere, was released a little while ago, but I just got around to buying it now, due to the strength of their new single, "Smiley Faces." It again plays with convention and genre's that put a smile on my face. It's both retro sounding, yet fresh and new, and I love that interplay (Madonna's "Get Together" and Christina Aguilera's "Ain't No Other Man" and "Candyman" hits me right in the spot also). I'm now working my way through the rest of their album, and I hope I love it's funkyness just as much as their first two singles. Oh, the video for "Smiley Faces" is a hoot also, done in mock documentary style, with guest appearances by Dean Stockwell and Dennis Hopper. Check it out!



Then there is Kelis' new album, Kelis Was Here. I'm sorry to say that this album is not quite as "Tasty" as the last, and I could see it being a while for me to get into this album. With Tasty, I was immediately hooked by the "Intro/Trick Me," and went along with the glorious trip afterword. On this new album, Kelis inundates us with a darker, grittier sound, and in the process, tries to sound more mainstream, but it just doesn't work. Her first single, "Bossy," tries to capitalize on "Milkshake"s funky coat-tails, but just ends up falling flat on their namesake. Even the worst tracks on Tasty (and there really wasn't any), sounds better than the best songs on here. Maybe she suffers from the Star Trek movie curse, where every other release is alternately very good, then pretty mediocre and quickly forgettable (Kaleidoscope was very promising, Wanderland was underwhelming, Tasty was delicious, and this album will hopefully be a learning experience to what will hopefully be a great fifth album).

And finally, this leads us to Outkast's Idlewild. I believe that is album also works as the soundtrack to a movie that Big Boi and Andre 3000 was working on since their last album won the Grammy. Again, I love their respective lead singles ("Morris Brown" from Big Boi, and "Idlewild Blues" from Andre 3000), but the rest of their album all seems like fillers. This is the way I felt about Speakerboxxx/The Love Below. Great first singles, and then...

What I think is the funniest thing is that they still try to pass themselves off as a group. I hope one day they will have the cojones to officially break up and start their respective solo careers. Like Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, all the songs were recorded separate from each other, and the songs in which the boys do appear together, I heard the vocals were recorded separately at different times. The only thing keeping them together is the money invested into the Outkast name. Oh well.

So that's what I'm listening to right now. This should tide me over until tomorrow, when I have comic books to buy, and fashion to pan on "Project Runway." Caio!