I Am The Very Model Of A Cartoon Individual

A plug, a rant, and a rave. What more should you expect from the choitoy?

The Plug: The first season of the wonderful animated cartoon, Animaniacs, has finally come out on DVD (for those counting, a "best of" Pinky and the Brain has also come out). My sister and I LOVED these cartoons when they came out so many eons ago. All the characters on that show gave us pure silly pleasure. And when I was watching it, I was at that wonderfully awkward stage where I was no longer a kid, not quite grown up, but loved that the humor in the show catered to both kids and adults. I even loved all the secondary characters, Slappy Squirrel, the incorrigible elderly squirrel who tells wonderfully violent stories to her nephew, Chip (my favorite was "Bumbie's Mom", where she teaches him that old cartoons never die, they just retire off to trailer parks). Be sure to pick these up the next time you go hunting for new DVDs.

The Rant: The Duff sisters, Hilary and Haylie, are soon to release a movie that they star in together called Material Girls. So what do they do to promote this occasion? They of course have to cover Madonna's classic "Material Girl" song. Now, if I had never heard the original, I would have said that this version is OK, yet quickly forgettable. Unfortunately for the Duff girls, I have heard the original many, many times, and this version STINKS!!!
They sound like they are bored out of their poor little minds, like getting an hour long manicure while recording the song. The music is too synthetic and over produced (not that the originally wasn't "synthy" but it doesn't sound like muzak composed with old broken Casio keyboards). There is no energy coming off of the sisters duetting with each other, and they both sing with a three note range. Hopefully their movie will come out and die off quickly, so they don't try to promote this travesty with a music video. I won't even bother posting up a link for you to get a listen to it, because you really are better off not knowing what it sounds like. Just goes to show you that any old Joe or Jane Schmoe should not try to attempt to cover any of Madonna's songs, unless they really do bring some major cojones, and really do try to do something fresh with the song, instead of trying to force it into "hip-hop" light territory.

The Rave: Finally, Lance Bass, ex-*NSync-er, and one time hopeful cosmonaut, has finally come out of the closet, telling all in an exclusive interview with People Magazine. It has been some time coming, as rumors have been swirling around since the boy band was still together, inundating us with boy band pop. In snippets of the article, he sounds happy, and is glad to be in a relationship with reality star, and Amazing Race winner, Reichen Lemkuhl. I'm happy that another celebrity has come out, just as Washington State has decided to ban gay marriages (boo!!!). The more people who are visible, the more we can beat minority statuses, and become a tolerant and diverse nation. I'm all for equality and anti-discrimination, being an overweight Asian guy, I have seen the hardships of discrimination (though not on the level as a lot of other people in minority groups in other areas of the nation). So now that the whole ordeal is finally over, I think Perez Hilton can finally breath a sigh of relief...