...

en enfer
I'm not the kind of person who wants to hurt other people.
I'm the kind of person who only wants to hurt myself.
But I realize if I hurt myself, I'll hurt other people.
Which was never my intention in and of itself.
But I'll worry that someday my sadness will supersede their empathy.
And cause dual actions of might and harm right back onto me.
So I wind up living in my shell.
An empty mask of what you want to see.
Torturing myself in a living hell.
Because I don't know just what I want to be.
-10/24/05