Stop. Don't. No. Please...

So the first official picture from the movie version of the musical based off of the movie (got that?) Hairspray has finally been released.

All I can say is color me unimpressed.

What I don't mind is a movie version of this musical (it was so good, I caught it at the 5th Avenue Theatre in Seattle twice! And I absolutely adore the original movie version by John Waters. Love that guy's stuff!). I wish it much success so that movie musicals will make a grand comeback (mostly so I can get a big screen movie version of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Sunset Boulevard with either Barbara Streisand or Glenn Close as Norma Desmond and Hugh Jackman as Joe Gillis captured in all it's glory!). But the casting so far has been a very mixed bag.

I don't mind that they did a nation wide talent search for an unknown (Nikki Blonksy) to play Tracy Turnblad, though why they didn't just go with Marissa Jaret Winokur (who originated the musical role), I just don't know. But then they decided to cast John Travolta in the Divine/Harvey Fierstein role of Tracy's mother, Edna Turnblad. Looking at the picture, blech! I'll have to bleach my eyes after watching 90 minutes of him do the drag and try to sing with that shot out husky voice of his (his voice is not like it was in Grease anymore folks!). Queen Latifa seems a little to young to play Motormouth Maybelle. Amanda Bynes (Penny Pingleton, the best friend), Zac Efron (Link Larkin, the love interest), and Brittany Snow (Amber von Tussel, the "enemy") all do nothing to me, as they all seem to be be "celebutants du jour." Though I do have to say that casting Michelle Pfeiffer as Amber's mother, Velma, is truly inspired casting (I wonder how her voice will hold up since Grease 2 and The Fabulous Baker Boys. Probably better than Debbie Harry's though, who originated the role in the original version). I can live with James Marsden as host Corny Collins, and though he scares the bejesus out of me, Christopher Walken would make an interesting Wilber Turnblad. But now that I think about it, I will probably have to blow my brains out if he and John Travolta do that mock kiss at the end of their big duet, "Your Timeless to Me." I feel queezy already!