Completely Inappropriate

I don't know why I decided to watch the Teen Choice Awards on Fox last night. O.K., I actually do have two reasons for watching last night. One was to see if Nelly Furtado and Timbaland can actually sing "Promiscuous" live (answer: a resounding NO! The vocals were all over the place, and it was just plain messy). The second reason was to catch the premiere of Kevin Federline's new song "Lose Control" (hasn't there already been like five or so songs released in the past few years called "Lose Control"?) All I need to say can be summed up in one syllable, "ICK!" Also, for being a show for "teens," there seemed to be a lot of inappropriate jokes during the show, not to mention the icky-pooness of Steve-O and his posse.

Unfortunately, I'll never be able to get those two hours of my life back, but I did get a couple of good laughs. Brandon Routh, the Superman portrayer, decided that the only thing he has going for him now that Superman Returns has not lived up to it's hype, is his hottness, as witnessed by his dressing down in this outfit. All I can say is "Now where am I supposed to be exactly? In D-List obscurity land?"

But the worst outfit of the night was Mischa Barton's clown outfit. Now, I barely care about her (just like I barely care about all these new teen neophytes that somehow become "A-List" celebrities because they happen to be on some hot new T.V. show that only teen girls seem to watch), and I do hear that she actually had on a different dress that looked nice on her going down the red carpet, but when I see this, I expect to see a trained seal and Ringmaster following her. Honey, when Sondheim wrote "Send In the Clowns," he meant it allegorically, not literally.