The Dance Off

Well, the Seattle Times is at it again, with a new article yesterday on the upcoming Dancing With The Stars rematch with John O'Hurley and Kelly "I'm a contemptuous spotlight hog, see how much skin I can reveal this week" Monaco. It shows in less than a month, so get your TIVO ready!

Well, at least the publicity is helping them get other jobs, so they won't be forever remembered as whirling dervishes on the dance floor. John O'Hurley is currently in talks to star as Billy Flynn in the WONDERFUL (I kid you not) musical Chicago on Broadway (and probably opposite Brooke Shields as Velma, no less). Now that we all know that he has a nack for dancing, we'll see if he has the singing voice to go with it. Not to mention the endurance to do eight shows a week. I hope he actually does make it, as I really could see him as Billy. Too bad I currently live on the opposite coast, or I would be spending WAY too much of my money watching Broadway shows. I also hear that he's going to be hosting Miss America or some other beauty pagent (yawn!), and that he's in talks to host his own reality show (wait, doesn't Dancing With the Stars count as a reality show?) based off his Seinfeld character character, J. Peterman.

In more distressing news, the rumor is that Marc Cherry, producer of Desperate Housewives, is in talk with Kelly to have a recurring role in the show. OH GOD PLEASE NO!!!! NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why take a perfectly good show and mar it with that ham? Or if she does go on the show, I hope within the first five minutes of her appearance, she gets a royal, backhanded b*tch-slap from Edie (Nicolette Sheridan), shatters to dust, and then gets "Hoovered" up by Brie (Marcia Cross). Heck, I'd pay good money to see that. Heck, I'd give my entire life's savings for them to make it happen.

In just plain odd news, the article reports (I also remember reading this on the web somewhere) that Kirk Douglas (yes, that 88 year old, geriatric Sparticus Kirk Douglas) would like to be on the DWtheS sequel, with his son's wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones. I think that it was a joke on his part, but the thought of Mrs. Zeta-Jones having to lug around 180 pounds or so of dead weight and call it the Fox Trot just makes me giggle. Or burst out crying...