"Oh my stars and garters!"

I think I must be the very last X-Men fan to have not seen X-Men: The Last Stand (a.k.a. X-men 3) yet. What a bad little fanboy I am!

So anyway, the other day, my sister and I sat down and watched the third installment in the comfort of our own home (well, at least the couch was somewhat comfy, the room was freezing cold). So armed with our Jamba Juices and a bowl of home made Chex Mix (basically, we only like the Chex cereal, the rye chips, and the seasonings, so there really is no reason to buy the premade bag mix since we pick out all the pretzles and stuff), off we traveled to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. Warning: the following contains spoilers, so if you haven't seen it, please stop right now and rent/buy this movie.

I loved the opening, which is an X-Men fan's wet dream of what we wanted in the first couple of movies: heavy action, Wolverine being a smart ass, the return of Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat), the return of Colossus (doing something more than just break through one measily wall), the Sentinel (albeit, just the head), the "Fastball Special," and the end to the sequence where we find out that it was the Danger Room! OK, so Ratner knows how to set up action sequences (just look at his past movies), but can he intermix this with quieter character moments? Well, no not really (the critics who reviewed the movie told me this months ago, but I needed to see it with my own eyes).

There were many opportunities for some great character moments. I liked that there was a triangle forming between Iceman, Rogue and Shadowcat (though I think that they should have kept in the kiss from the deleted scene), but there was so much happening in the rest of the movie, that poor Rogue was just a blip (and I still think that she shouldn't have gone through with the cure. It would have been more poignant if she still had her powers. She shouldn't actually even be in the school at the end without her powers...)

I'm glad that they got rid of Cyclops. He never really did anything in all three of the movies, and was a far cry from the "leader" that he is in the comic books. I'm glad that we didn't have to see him sulk over Jean Grey anymore than we had to. I hope you're happy over in Superman land! Of course, they never actually showed him dying on camera (like with Professor X), and you know what they say in comic book land, "a character never stays dead."

Wolverine was fine, but his characterization swayed a little too much, as seen in the scene where Rogue is leaving the mansion, and then in the scene where he gets Iceman, Colossus and Shadowcat to join in with them for the big fight (though judging from the deleted scene, I don't know what makes more sense for Wolvie).

I still don't like Halle Berry (Meow!)

I'm glad that Ratner was a fanboy and stuck in a bunch of other characters I thought would never see the light of day (though the trangendered looking person playing Arclight sure is scary). Quill was cool, Psylocke didn't show off her psychic blade (the totality of her mutant powers...blah, blah, blah), Callisto was cool (though I still don't know about giving her super-speed). Too bad all the cool secondary characters got killed.

Speaking of which, even though I knew it was coming (from reading spoilers on other pages), I was a little shocked when Professor X died.

Seeing Beast was pretty cool (Kelsey Grammer was perfect, just as Alan Cumming was perfect as Nightcrawler in the second film), and I wished there was more of him. In fact, there was a bunch of mutants I wish there was more of. The movie slowly became the Wolverine and Magneto show. The way the promos made it out, I though we were going to see a lot more of Angel and Rogue, but both go M.I.A. for most of the film.

I also couldn't help but think that in the final sequence, where Wolverine is making his way towards Jean, who is now engulfed with the effects of the Dark Phoenix and burning/disintergrating everything in sight (like Carrie to the nth degree), how come when even his flesh is starting to burn off, his pants still somehow remain unscathed? Wouldn't he be buck naked? Well, wouldn't he? I'm just asking...

Though for all the film's shortcomings, it actually made me want another sequel, and the way things ended, I think it does set the stage for another movie (espically the scene after the end credits). Too bad that it might be a few years before they get to it (since a Wolverine film is slated to go first). They better hurry. Ian McKellen isn't getting any younger!